odi et amo lemma

“I hate and (yet) I love them”

I seriously feel like dropping out of school, get into Damai Secondary. Barely pass my O levels , then go to Temasek Polytechnic. Get a job, start the boring life. Fuck.

I hate it, you took them from me. My smile, my passion. You gave reasons, which ain’t any. The fact that you’re what you’re simply serves more than a reason. No it ain’t a reason. I’m a fucking introvert, I don’t really need anyone in my life. Just get the fuck out of this. I don’t really understand who’s the stubborn one, me or you guys. Just act normal and be a normal one.Three hours of silence are hard to come by, you say I’m useless and skinny what so ever. Cry bitch , thats what you always do.

From my liver, spills water- and blood. I’m long ago dead, both separated.

Fucking aunties and uncles, who ask about shit I don’t really want to answer. “How’ re your grades” this kind of hypocrites asking this kind of shit when their child’s in Raffles. Fuck, shut up. I could have went there, I picked not to. Screw all the dinner time shit, just eat. Make a big fuss when I simply forgot to call you to the dinner table for dinner. Can’t you be more awake and just come and eat? Fuck all those Chinese styled manners. Grand’s even worst, make a big fuss when I chew the tip of my chopsticks. Lecture me for a fucking hour.

Friends, i never had a proper good ones.Weren’t close to Primary school friends after getting my insanely high PSLE score , which was much unexpected. Secondary school friends either, no one really bothered. I don’t kick the ball, play stupid computer games. I didn’t really have close secondary friends either. Perhaps its because I left early, two years too early. But they’ll never ask me out along with them, huh. Ironic, sticking so close to me when they need help.

Welcome , laugh at how fucked up my life is.

Friends, work, school.

Yeah , what are they?