Cynic Matty

Sometimes, I just want to kill myself and test out the theory of god and the heavens. Say, I earned myself enough merit to get myself in there. The place so called filled with goodness and happiness. Let’s stop here and give it a thought.

Think, what good have you done?

“I helped the old folks in so and so, helped so and so.  Did so and so.”

 Because?

You’ll most likely stop there, stay silent for a few seconds. Then either say “huh?” or something in a similar sense. If you’re slightly more outspoken, you’ll start blabbering honeyed words and sentences. How cynical. I’ll help you answer the question.

You want community work hours to be printed on your report card.  You want people to know you as a charitable person, a nice volunteer. You want to get famous through that medium. You use it to accompany old folks. You like doing community work. It all revolves around you. You like community work; you’re using it as a hobby, as something that can kill your time or simulate yourself to feel joy. You could say you’re bored, but you’re still using it as something to kill your boredom. You say it’s just normal moral excellence and righteousness. You’re just performing what you’re taught; you’re just doing those shit because it makes you feel good. You say you want to make the world a better place to live in, but think. Why do you want to make this place better?

It’s because you’re in this place and you want yourself to live in a more amiable world. Notice nothing you do revolve around others? All the good you do leads to one final person.

It’s the almighty fucking you.

We’re just born, programmed to. Like how we’re programmed to learn to walk on two of our limbs but not four, like how we’re programmed to cry at the first moment we end up in this fucking world. We’re born to be selfish, to think about us. Its just the selfish gene. We, come first.

Or rather, I come first.